Charlie Jenkins is the retired facilities administrator at Saint Mary's University and a past APPA president. He currently is president of the Jenkins Research Group, based in Fair Oaks Ranch, Texas, and can be reached at jenrsc@aol.com.
Someone once suggested that all learning occurs through one of two processes. The first is the "ah-hah" experience. That's when we finally grasp a new concept and the light bulb comes on over our head. The second process is the BFO, or blinding flash of the obvious. After studying the topic of individual leadership for many years, I had a BFO experience. I discerned that leadership is all about building and nurturing relationships with other people. You can't lead in a vacuum. Leaders are leaders only because they have followers, and that means lots of one-to-one relationships. Several relationships in our business lives (and certainly in our marital and family relationships) can make us feel marvelous or miserable, depending on the shape they're in. Let's explore a few of them.
Relations with the Customers
Where better to begin than with customer relations? But I'm not referring to the relationship between your departmental staff and your customers. We bring in consultants to train the staff in customer relations or send the staff off to charm school to learn all the ways and ploys of making the customers think they're happy. Instead, I'm asking, "What is your personal relationship with your customers?"
There was a time when I saw myself as a cool, efficient solver of problems for other people in the university. Sort of like Dragnet's Sgt. Joe Friday as portrayed by Jack Webb. You know, "Just the facts, ma'am. Tell me your problem in as few words as possible so I can get about the business of solving it." I had no time for chit-chat. Then we began to survey our customers periodically to measure their level of satisfaction with our service. Two comments in our very first survey were aimed directly at me. One said, "The director is socially pleasant; however, administrative relating is often curt or abrasive." Another observed, "The structure is too exclusively militaristic, with the highest management, the director, only responding to VPs (in specified order) but rarely with deans." Before I finally saw the light, my response to those comments was that I simply don't suffer fools and a couple of them had noticed. Pretty arrogant, wasn't I?
If you should see a little of yourself in this description please consider carefully what follows. Let me assure you that you'll like yourself better and be better liked by others if you will suffer those fools gladly. Stephen Covey calls it "listening empathically" and promotes the practice in the fifth habit of highly effective people, which is "Seek first to understand, then to be understood."1 I try hard to do that now. I didn't change overnight, mind you. It came slowly and not so easily. One encounter stays indelibly in my mind, though, as a watershed experience in my growth to be more empathic with our customers.
We had just reopened a faculty office building that had been closed for remodeling for over a year. One department, some 15 professors, was to move from an adjacent building to the remodeled one. The department chairperson and I had agreed on a move date, and I had arranged for a local mover to send a crew to get it done in a single day. All was on track. A few days before the scheduled move I was stopped during one of my campus walkabouts by one of the department's professors. "Oh, Mr. Jenkins," he said, "I can't possibly move on the day you have scheduled." Did I react negatively? Not at all. I had prepared for just this eventuality. "No problem, Professor," said I, "if you can't move on our day, we'll move you on the day you say." (We could put together a crew of housekeepers to move a single office.) "Oh, but Mr. Jenkins, I'll be far too busy on the scheduled move day. I have exams to grade and students to counsel and I simply can't reschedule those things," he went on. "Please, Professor, you didn't understand what I said," I replied, "you can move on any day you want." Finally, he acknowledged my message and agreed to call the day before he was ready to move and so he did. It was days before I finally got the message. He didn't just want to move on his own schedule. He wanted to hear himself convince me that the value and worth of his contribution to the university mission was far too great to be sidetracked by a move to a new office. Had I been patient enough to listen for just three or four more minutes he could have enjoyed that experience. As it was, I interrupted and solved what I perceived to be his problem and thus ended the encounter. He still hasn't had the satisfaction of justifying his existence to me. He doubtless still perceives me as curt and unsympathetic. Since that time, I force myself to listen more and talk less. It gets easier and easier.
So, if you fancy yourself a hard-driving, no-nonsense kind of manager like I did, maybe you can improve your style by learning to listen better. My relations with our customers sure improved when I did it. That's why I recommend it for your consideration.
Relations with the Staff
This section could go on forever, for such is its importance. I'll curtail it by offering just two observations regarding your relations with the staff. Remember that they have been entrusted to your stewardship by your university, college, or school. The first is a passage from a treatise that appeared in my e-mail box. I don't know who forwarded it to me but I'm glad they did. It was put on the Internet by a Professor Louis Schmier from Valdosta State University in Georgia. Prof. Schmier shares his personal credo for relating to the students he teaches. I've paraphrased his thoughts to change the relationship from teacher- student to administrator-staff.
Rule One. Give a damn! Care! Love! Don't just mouth it, live it!
Rule Two. Don't come to work expecting the staff to fail. Expect them to perform and succeed.
Rule Three. A workforce is a "gathering of ones," of diverse, individual, sacred human beings.
Rule Four. No one in this "gathering" is dumb and unwanted. Nothing is as cathartic to self-esteem as the feeling, "I can do it" and "I belong here."
Rule Five. Every worker is entitled to the personal, equal dignity of a human being. Demand that each person respect himself or herself, and demand that each person treat everyone with respect.
Rule Six. No one's face gets erased. No one goes nameless. No one is left in the background. No one is allowed to be overshadowed by anyone else.
Rule Seven. Every worker starts with a clean slate. Don't judge a person by the ring in his ear or the tattoo on her arm or the whispers of other people or the accent of their speech or . . . .
Rule Eight. Love every associate. It's okay to be disappointed or even frustrated with their lack of effort, but don't stop loving them as persons.
Rule Nine. Don't be afraid to let the workers know that you're trying something new to make them powerful achievers and that you need their help.
Rule Ten. Remember that leadership is a journey. It's not an event or a destination. It's like climbing a mountain that has no summit to reach. You just have to learn to love climbing.
If Prof. Schmier is as good as he writes, his classes must always be overflowing. If we can incorporate his credo as ours, we'll be very successful as well. I suspect he makes every student feel as good as every other. The people we lead should feel the same way. After W. Edwards Deming became famous as the father of statistical quality control, later amplified to Total Quality Management, he was much in demand as a speaker. I'm told that Deming frequently opened his speeches by telling the story of a Halloween party during his youth. Deming was on in years by this time, so it was no surprise for him to relate that all the Halloween costumes were homemade. You couldn't just pop in to K-Mart and become a mutant ninja salamander or whatever back in those days.
So, the kids all came to the party in their Mom-made costumes, and there was great interest and hilarity as they admired each others' getups. Then, someone announced that there would be a contest and prizes would be awarded for the best costumes. Immediately, the atmosphere changed. Now, the kids began to compare their costume with the others and to speculate as to who might win. Now, the mental rank-ordering began, with its faithful companions jealousy and envy. What had been a pleasant, convivial atmosphere became tense and competitive. Deming closed this story with the plaintive question, "Why does someone always have to win?"
Dr. Deming's point, of course, is that our challenge is to make everyone feel like a winner. Leaders find a way to do that.
Relations with Vendors and Suppliers
What is the respect/contempt ratio between you and the private sector people who have a stake in your success? These are the business partners who make sure that you get goods and services from them dependably and at a fair price. Do they feel a part of your team, or do they perhaps consider you a one-way, slow-pay kind of customer who wants every consideration from them while returning little, if any?
In his best-selling book Swim with the Sharks without Being Eaten Alive2, Harvey Mackay includes a short chapter entitled "Treat Your Suppliers the Way You Treat Your Customers." He tells of a certain advertising executive's experience with the Billy Graham organization. The man happened to be momentarily in a business slump and needed work badly. After he did some public relations work for Billy Graham, he was called by the responsible BG officer and asked to bring over his bill. He put it together very carefully and took it to the BG offices. With hardly a glance at it, the officer had his check cut on the spot and delivered to him before he left the building. Mackay then asks, "Where do they tell you in business school to pay your suppliers when they hand you the bill? Aren't we supposed to hang on to our cash as long as possible and work the interest for the maximum return? Did anyone ever chew out his controller because he paid a supplier too late?"
BG did other considerate things for this vendor and later, when his business was back on its feet, he sent them a large contribution and has continued to do so regularly. Mackay implies that BG treats everyone the way they treated the advertiser and comments, "BG has recognized a business principle that is so elementary, so corny, that we seldom ever use it: If you expect the other guy to care about you, show that you care about him. Sounds pretty close to that Golden Rule business again, but does it ever work for BG. Simply stated, they are regarded as the finest account in town, not just because of the way they pay but also because of the quality of the people at BG. In fact, we're willing to take less just for the privilege of doing business with them."
Don't get the idea that BG is pollyanna naive. They know the fair market value of their purchases. If you overcharge them, says Mackay, you'll be paid promptly—once. But you'll never hear from BG again.
Sounds pretty idealistic, I know. But if you apply the BG principle you can earn the same vendor loyalty that BG has, or close to it. We talk about our vendors being stakeholders just as much as the customers and staff. Why shouldn't we treat them with equal consideration?
Relations with Your Boss
Despite the admonition of today's management gurus to realign the organization into a flatter, less vertical structure, higher education has stoutly resisted. Our workplaces are regarded as the last bastion of the authoritarian, hierarchical, high-control organization. Therefore, for most of us, our relationship with our boss is one of primary importance. I have two thoughts about this relationship.
First, if your boss is one of the high control kind, I suggest a lesson from Stephen Covey. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People3 Covey tells of a firm he consulted with for several years. The president of the firm was a brilliant guy and everyone knew it. But he was very dictatorial, into micromanagement, and treated all his top executives like office boys. Maybe you know a boss like that, a "do this, do that, if I want your opinion I'll tell you what it is" kind of person.
Well, of course, all this president's execs couldn't stand him and spent a lot of time at the water cooler discussing his idiosyncrasies. All, that is, except one. Call him Joe. Joe made it a point to fill in where the president was weak. He shielded his staff from the president's maladroitness and emphasized to them the president's strengths, such as vision, talent, and creativity. He was what is called a transition person. He short stopped the negative stuff about the boss and kept it from polluting his area of the firm. The boss treated Joe like all the rest. But when Joe was given a "do this" he would do more than the boss expected. He sensed the underlying concern behind his task, and when he presented his report he also gave his analysis of the data and recommendations that supported the analysis.
After this happened a few times, Covey says, the president quit treating Joe as a gofer. At staff meetings after that it was, "You do this, you do that and, by the way, Joe, what's your opinion regarding this issue?" I know, I know, this guy sounds a lot like an apple-polisher. But he got results. Because he stepped out of line and took a higher road than his poor-mouthing peers, he benefited—and so did his work section and ultimately the entire firm. There's a powerful lesson there for relating to a dictatorial boss.
But, whether your boss is a princess or a pain-in-the-rear, this next bit of counsel I offer applies. It is this: Make sure your boss knows how good you are. The scriptures admonish us to not hide our light under a basket. A famous old exotic dancer coined the phrase, "If you've got it, flaunt it." For one of the best comments I know of on this topic, I turn again to Harvey Mackay.4
Harvey writes, "Self-esteem is a buzzword these days, and it's about time. The higher it is the better you get along with yourself, with others, and the more you'll accomplish. Humility is the most overrated of all human emotions. The two worst human failings, many of us were taught when we were young, were lying and bragging. I'd rather stick with Will Rogers, who said, If you done it, it ain't bragging.'"
Harvey talks about the self-confidence of top athletes and how baseball scouts refer to "the good face," a sense of self-confidence that radiates from winners. He admonishes his readers, "Don't let the optimism be snuffed out in you. It's a hell of a lot more productive than humility."
So let your boss and the rest of the world see that "good face." It will, indeed, allow you and those around you to reach levels of performance you've maybe never dreamed of. Also, don't depend on the boss to notice your good works. Send up an annual report that calls attention to the great things you and your department did last year. In fact, send it all over the campus.
Relations with Yourself
But maybe you're thinking, "Hey, Charlie, that's just not me. I don't have an inferiority complex, I'm truly inferior." Right away I can tell there's a problem with your relationship with yourself. I can offer only one antidote for low self-esteem—challenge yourself and meet the challenge. Lose ten pounds and keep it off. Stop smoking—forever. Start a master's degree program. Teach a Sunday School class or volunteer at your local elementary school. Join the Habitat for Humanity effort in your local community. The opportunities go on and on. And here's my best suggestion. Mend a relationship that's broken, or strengthen one that's weak. On the job, at home, wherever.
Do this in confidence with yourself, without fanfare. These small private victories, accepting and meeting challenges, will cause your self esteem and confidence to soar. It will be obvious to those around you. Good things will follow.
One of the companies that puts out motivational signs and pictures for the workplace markets a picture of a great lion gazing into the camera. In the background, at a distance, is a gazelle. The gazelle is intently studying the lion. The caption reads:
In Africa, every morning a gazelle wakes up. He knows that today he must run faster than the fastest lion or he'll be killed. Every morning, a lion wakes up. He knows that he must run faster than the slowest gazelle or he'll starve. Whether you're a lion or a gazelle, when the sun comes up you'd better be running.
When you're out there running for survival, don't forget to build and nurture those relationships that make it easier to survive—and excel.
End Notes